Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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