i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
