Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
