I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
How does one acquire holy water?
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Randomize
