I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
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