hotel room ftw
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
