sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
