Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
birth control should be required to get into college
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
