My nipple is on Facebook.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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