When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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