Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
