laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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