I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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