i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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