I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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