so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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