some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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