Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
