you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
