i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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