Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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