office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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