Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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