you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
