Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
