Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
