sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
