Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize