I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
