I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
We are all done wearing pants today
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
