all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
