im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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