:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
