I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
