Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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