remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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