awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
