I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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