if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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