she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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