Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
