That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
