seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
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