im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Im part way to drunk.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
