OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Randomize
