his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
either way he was missing a nipple.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
