ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
