Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
