Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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