Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
