i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
