A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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