Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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