You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
