and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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